Just Walking About...

Walkabout is going good. I'm learning a lot. It's really interesting, everyone here is REALLY different. Like just completely different backgrounds and personalities...everything.

Tomorrow morning I have to share my life story...I hope it goes well, and it's not too boring, I don't want to put anyone to sleep.

About a week or two ago I finally got an opportunity to clean my room pretty intensely. Well, I pretty much used my cleaning as a tool to procrastinate...But, it was good! So, here are some pictures of my room/little area.

We're just about to start a lot more classes, I think it's going to be good. But I think I'm going to miss have groups that we actually facilitate a lot too. I mean...idk. We'll just see.

So, I'm learning a lot about myself, and about working w/ other people too. Right now I'm reading a couple really good books! First I'm reading "Just Like Jesus" by Max Lacado, and then i'm also reading "Redeeming Love." They're both really good! I like them a lot. We're going to start reading some books for class, Jason said he just ordered "The Shack," I'm pretty excited about reading that one actually. I think it's ganna be really interesting! We're also going to read a book called "Under the Overpass" It's ganna be really cool! And then in February we're going to go to Mexico and then we're going to go to Waco to be homeless for a weekend.

Well, I have to go to class right now...we have a class on Christian finances with Stacie!

Just a few thoughts...

This summer at church we're going to do this big Gospel challenge thing...It's like this 6-week Bible study basically. There are a few of us that are doing this study over Galatians with Keith, and it's been really amazing, so Keith is having us help come up with questions and write this big gospel challenge. It's really exciting!
There's been a lot that has helped me and is continuing, and will continue for probably ever...to understand better what the gospel really is and why I really do all these things that I do. It's helping me to look at my motives and what I really believe and know in my heart and what is just a fact in my mind but hasn't made it to my heart yet. There's a lot that hasn't really made it to my heart completely yet...But I'm a work in progress! :) ...and will always be...
So, we were told by Keith to come up with a few questions or quotes and stuff for each week of the big gospel challenge. So, I thought I would sort of share a few of them with you. I've just been thinking about a lot of this stuff a lot, and even though it's stuff I knew before it just hit me with a whole new light.
The first thing that I was thinking about is how we all just think of the gospel as the "ABCs" it's just how we become a Christian, it's the story and it's what we believe in... but really the gospel is everything, it should be the basis for everything we do. It's our "A-to-Z" not just our "ABC."
Our book about Galatians says: “The Bible is not just the “ABCs” but the “A-to-Z” of the Christian life” (pg. 2).
Something else that is on that same page, and is actually all an excerpt from a preface on Galatians by Martin Luther. He said, “The gospel shows us that our spiritual problem lies not only in failing to obey God, but also in relying on our obedience to make us fully acceptable to God, ourselves and others” (pg. 2).
If you think about our sins really we cannot sin without breaking the first 2 commandments. Every sin is an idol which we put before God.
“Romans 1:25 tells us that idols are not sinful things, but good and basic things that elevated into being ultimate things. We look to them for meaning in life, for covering our sense of insignificance, for developing a “righteousness” or worth” (pg. 57).
We do this because we don't really believe in our hearts that we are righteous in God's eyes. We don't really understand God's love for us and we're saying that God is not good enough for us and we need something else to make our lives worth anything.
One question in particular that I thought was really good to make people think is “Why does a Christian obey God?” (pg. 76) Usually people might say they obey God because it's what's best for their lives...or because they know their supposed to. Or because it will please God. But these are not correct. Infact, I believe that we cannot please God anymore than He is already pleased in us. The answer is that we obey him out of love. We see the love that He showed us through His son Jesus, and we respond to that love. Not because we have to, or we should, or because God will bless us if we do, but because we understand the love that He has for us and we want to respond to His love. When you love someone you want to willingly serve them, you feel joyful in doing things for them and showing them love not because you have to or you need to win their approval but because you love them...that is how we should be for God.
I was wondering a while ago...How do I make this new understanding of being totally loved and accepted and seen as righteous in God's eyes go from my head to my heart. We had a big discussion about it in our Bible study and the answer ended up being...by experiencing God's love. And we experience God's love by spending time with Him. And making Him a big part of our lives. Not just someone we think about before we eat, or before we go to bed or wake up in the morning or whatever, but someone we think about throughout the day and talk to. We spend all this time sending random text messages to friends...well what if while we were doing that we started writing "texts" or whatever to God. What if we filled that time with thinking about God's love and how he expresses it to us? The big ending question ended up being:
How much time do you seek approval from others in comparison to how much you think about God’s love?
Something else is that I've been thinking about John 3:16 and how we always think of just the verse that everyone knows...but we don't really ever truely think about it. I was reading it today when I was going over these questions and things and I thought it was just a really cool passage. the part that struck me the most was actually John 3:16-21:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but has eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world throught him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

“But the more you know of his infallible fatherly lover, the more you are able to realistically face yourself, your flaws and faults. The more you see your sin, the more precious and valuable you find his saving love and grace” (pg. 78).

Armor Prayer

Tonight in youth group we were talking about temptation....It's a pretty...intense subject. But before we got too into it our leader had us read this prayer which is from Winning the War Within by Dr. Charles Stanley. It's really good! I just thought I'd share it insane you haven't seen it before, and refresh you're memory if you have.

"Good morning, Lord. Thank You for assuring me of victory today if I will but follow Your battle plan. So, by faith, I claim victory over __________ (List some things you know you will be facing this day).
To prepare myself for the battle ahead, by faith I put on the belt of truth. The truth about You, Lord--that You are a sovereign God who knows everything about me, both my strengths and my weaknesses. Lord, You know my breaking point and have promised not to allow me to be temped beyond what I am able to bear. The truth about me, Lord, is that I am a new creature in Christ and have been set free from the power of Sin. I am indwelt with the Holy Spirit who will guide me and warn me when danger is near. I am Your child, and nothing can separate me from your love. The truth is that You have a purpose for me this day--someone to encourage, someone to share with, someone to love.
Next, Lord, I want to, by faith, put on the breastplate of righteousness. Through this I guard my heart and my emotions. I will not allow my heart to attach itself to anything that is impure. I will not allow my emotions to rule my decisions. I will set them on what is right and good and just. I will live today by what is true, not by what I feel.
Lord, this morning I put on the sandals of the gospel of peace. I am available to You, Lord. Send me where You will. Guide me to those who need encouragement or physical help of some kind. Use me to solve conflicts wherever they may arise. Make me a calming presence in every circumstance in which You place me. I will not be hurried or rushed, for my schedule is in Your hands. I will not leave a trail of tension and apprehension. I will leave tracks of peace and stability everywhere I go.
I now take up the shield of faith, Lord. My faith is in You and You alone. Apart from You, I can do nothing. With You, I can do all things in Your strength. No temptation that comes my way can prenetrate Your protecting hand. I will not be afriad, for You are going with me throughout this day. When I am tempted, I will claim victory out loud adead of time, for You have promised victory to those who walk in obedience to Your Word. So by faith, I claim the victory even now because I know there are fiery darts headed my way even as I pray. Lord, You already know what they are and have already provided the way of escape.
Lord, by faith I am putting on the helmet of salvation. you know how satan bombards my mind day and night with evil thoughts, doubts, and fear. I put on this helmet that will protect my mind. I may feel the impact of his attacks, but nothing can penetrate the helmet. I choose to stop every impure and negative thought at the door of my mind. And with the helmet of salvation those thought will get no further. I elect to take every thought captive; I will dwell on nothing but what is good and right and pleasing to You.
Last, I take up the sword of the Spirit, which is Your Word. Thank You for the precious gift of Your Word. It is strong and powerful and able to defeat even the strongest of satan's onslaughts. You Word says that I am not under obligation to the flesh to obey its lusts. Your Word says that I am free from the power of Sin. Your Word says that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. So by faith, I take up the strong and powerful sword of the Spirit, which is able to defend me in time of attack, comfort me in time of sorrow, teach me in time of meditation, and prevail against the power of the Enemy on behalf of others who need the truth to set them free.
So, Lord, I go now rejoicing that You have chosen me to represent You to this lost and dying world. May others see Jesus in me, and may Satan and his hosts shudder as Your power is made manifest in me. In Jesus' name I pray--AMEN."

-From Winning the War Within (pgs. 123-125)

by Dr. Charles Stanley

He Has a Plan...

Lately I've been trying to get together some stuff I want to put on my table for graduation. Just so I can have a little head start before it starts getting even more busy. Well, today my mom pulled out these old books I wrote from elementry school. Way back in the day. They're really funny! Ha. I got a few laughs out of it.

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So, next year is college and I'm so excited to be finishing up highschool, however, my parents have recently informed me that they are going to have me stay here for at least one more semester, maybe one full year and then go to JBU or where ever. At first I was really frusturated and mad about it. But I know it's really ganna be okay. I mean, I guess this is just what God has instore for me. I tried to go, and I guess that this is God closing that door. As much as I don't enjoy it, I am trying to have a good attidude about it...

One of the main reasons I want to go away so badly is that I just feel stuck here sort of. I want a new experience w/ new friends and just new environment. But the more I think about it the more I'm okay with staying here for at least a little bit longer. I mean, it's not like I don't have friends here. Shelly's going to be here another year, and I have a few other friends that will be around. Chelsea Botens is planning to go to Richland too! So, I think next year just might be okay after all.

Another thing, I just found out a few moments ago that I did not get into the Pine Cove Baby Ruth descipleship program for this summer. I am sort of bummed about that, but at the same time my mom and dad were not even sure they were going to let me go because I need to earn more money this summer for school next year and then college whenever it is that I'll be leaving.

I just need to trust God with it all.

It's funny how once you think you have everything all figured out God descides He has other plans for you. It all goes back to Proverbs 16:9:
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." ~Proverbs 16:9

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I think that God is trying to teach me something about love. I'm not sure what, but it seems like everywhere I go someone is talking about love. I'm serious. It's getting pretty crazy. I mean, it's obviously a popular topic this time of year, it being February with Valentines day and all but it's more then that.

I went to a Bible study with Jessica Heydrick not last Tuesday, but the Tuesday before (the night of the tornato). It was cool, it's called Pulse and it's at SMU on Tuesday nights. The speaker was really good, her name was Chelsae Chapman, she was super sweet and nice! And she talked about how we need to show people love through service and then use God's love and our acts of service to evangilize to them. It was pretty cool...
Now, usually don't have too much trouble w/ people. I love people and I love to love people. Haha. that sounds funny. But it's true. Poeple are great. I love everyones different personalities and struggles and strangths and just personalities. It just facinates me. It's fun to observe. However, lately I've been put in situations where I have to endure people that aren't so easy to love. One situation is at Richland. I could easily leave the situation, but that wouldn't be the Christian thing to do...and everyone else would get mad at me for leaving them there. Haha. But seriously, I'm trying to learn how to love those who are not always so easy for me to love and show them that I'm not just some nice person but that I am a follower of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and that He is the sourse of my love.

This summer I read Blue Like Jazz By Donald Miller if you haven't read it, then you should. I really enjoyed it. It's really interesting. But one chapter really sort of goes w/ this whole love thing. I believe it's chapter 18 and 19 or something. It's a chapter or two talking about how to love others and yourself...It talks about "Hippy love" and how he lived w/ these "hippies" and how their love was so genuin and they loved everyone, even if they were being judgmental or something. I want to be able to love like that.

Another peice about love that I will always remember is from the book Captivated by John and Stasi Eldredge. This time it's talking about God's love for us, and how He reviels Himself and His love to us.
"Every song you love, every momory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to you from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart. God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion" (116).

I've Missed This...

I used to write some on my xanga, and then myspace and facebook came along and while they are great ways to keep in touch, and basically just keep a network of people they're not very blogger friendly. I sort of miss blogging. Not that I am some major amazing blogger or anything I just think it's enjoyable.
Well, that's all I've got for now, I should probably be going to bed. Richland is closed tomorrow so I'm looking forward to a great morning of prom dress shopping with Jamie!